Brief Thoughts on a Manic Monday #11

ITEM: It’s worth remembering that newspaper headlines are  hooks intended to draw the reader in, and the subsequent articles seldom deliver on the headline promise.

Imagine how I felt a few weeks back on reading the headline “Parliament Dissolved”, only to then discover that it didn’t involve the use of acid.

ITEM: When lurking on the Facebook page of my (Conservative) MP I observed that he had spelled the word ‘constituency’ three different ways and none of them were correct. Sigh! Also misspelled on a campaign poster, the name of a village he was visiting on the trail for votes, and another person had pointed out that the flags used were printed upside down. And this gentleman wants my vote.

ITEM: The question of who to vote for is one of an almost Gordian knot complexity.

There may be some half decent Tories down in the lower ranks of the party, but the policy makers without exception – Call Me Dave, Gideon, IDS etc. – all come across as being vile, vicious, vindictive, snivelling little shit weasels.

UKIP are cut from pretty much the same cloth with an extra helping of bigotry – no, I don’t think wanting to curb immigration or withdraw from Europe automatically makes you a bigot, but those issues seem to have been taken up as a rallying cry by far too many people who are. In my constituency (and I consider it a cause for shame) it appears that UKIP are the only ones who stand a chance of keeping the Tories out.

I like the Greens in the abstract, but find myself put off every time one of them pops a head up above the parapet to explain how their policies will work in practice as they invariably end up embarrassing themselves.

The Lib Dems are never to be forgiven for entering into the Coalition of the Damned, and hopefully about to disappear into the dustbin of history.

Which leaves Labour, a far from perfect solution, especially now the blundering Moribund appears to have stated that he would rather a Tory government than make an alliance with the SNP. On the other hand Labour appears to be the only party that still has some genuinely good people in its ranks – Meacher, Skinner, McConnell, etc. My hope is that if elected those people in concert with a strong SNP presence will force Moribund and the mock Tories in cheap suits that make up his front bench to ditch all this austerity bullshit and start acting like decent human beings instead of corporate shills.

I’m not optimistic though.

ITEM: On the subject of Tories regaining power like dear old Cassandra I seem to find signs and portents everywhere, as with an email Subject line that read “Experience Oliver! in the Workhouse”.

ITEM: I returned home from a weekend with TAG to find a message in my Facebox Inbox from a guy whose story I reviewed in Black Static four or five years back and regarding which I wasn’t entirely complimentary:-

fuck you asshole… 

here’s your brilliant novel cockfucker?

He sent me something similar in May 2014. Must be a family tradition.

ITEM: Am I wrong in thinking that advertising copy for the new Apple Watch sounds like it could have just as easily been written for a sex toy.

It ‘lets you do familiar things more quickly and conveniently, straight from your wrist. And some things that simply weren’t possible before. So using it is a whole new experience. One that’s more personal than ever.’

ITEM: Nietzsche, the Dude of nineteenth century German philosophers, once declared an ambition to ‘say in ten sentences what everyone else says in a book – what everyone else does not say in a book’.

All the same, despite this love of brevity, I can’t help thinking that the great bearded one would have not been a huge fan of twitter.

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