ITEM: Okay, I know Intu is the name of the company that manages Chapelfield Mall in Norwich, but all the same when I see INTU CHAPELFIELD over the entrance the proof-reader in my soul cries out to amend it to INTO.
ITEM: Today I received a parcel from The Imaginary Girlfriend containing two Valentine cards and three chocolate goodies.
Either she’s feeling threatened now that I have an actual girlfriend or the guilt trip I did on her for not sending me a Christmas card worked a treat.
ITEM: So I went to Poundland intent on picking up the DVD of The Hurt Locker that I resisted buying the other day (I have will power, but apparently not very much), and I came home with Sex and the City.
No, I don’t understand how that happened either.
Staying with the land of the pound, a few weeks back I was sad to see the hardback edition of Joe Hill’s Horns in there. Oh, how the mighty are fallen.
ITEM: Finally got round to trying out the shower gel an aunt gave me for Christmas, and to my horror discovered that it is bright green. Baste enough on and I start to look like the Incredible Hulk.
Or Kermit the Frog (it’s all a matter of perspective).
ITEM: In the Gents’ toilets at Norwich bus station they have introduced a series of pictures demonstrating how to wash your hands properly. There’s a picture of hands under a running tap, a picture of hands under a soap dispenser, a picture of hands rubbing together to create lather, and so on.
I didn’t go into a cubicle and so cannot testify either way as to whether there are similar instructions on how to wipe your arse.
What would be welcome though, from my viewpoint, is a sign reminding people not to stick their hands straight under the tap immediately after turning it on full. I do this at least once a week, and end up with a wet crotch nearly every time.
ITEM: Nietzsche said something to the effect that people study psychology for one of two reasons, either to understand people with a view to controlling them, or to understand people so that you can feel superior to them, and he expressed a preference for the former group.
In a similar mode of generalising, it seems to me that writers post links to their negative reviews on Amazon for one of two reasons, either as an act of bravado to show that they really don’t mind criticism, or as a plea for reassurance from the Facebook/Twitter friends and family that they’re really not that bad. Personally I don’t have a preference for either motive, except I really don’t like it when the latter devolves into cluster fucking the people who’ve had the temerity to express a negative opinion about the great and the good. That’s really not very pretty.
ITEM: Next week I shall be mired in real world stuff, so as far as blogging goes expect a plethora of filler content (i.e. old reviews) and naff videos.
If the viewing figures rocket, I am going to be seriously insulted.