Extracts From A Teenage Diary Part 12

Mr Prince is a bit of a lech. He keeps pressing himself up against me and making out it’s all by accident, but I know better. Actually I guess I don’t mind, given all he’s done for me. He’s quite sweet really, for an older guy. Reminds me of my father.

The lawyers think we should have no trouble overturning father’s will. From all that I’ve told them it seems pretty clear that father wasn’t compos mentis at the time, whatever that means, and besides, the judge is a very good friend of Mr Prince. He once gave her an excellent deal on a Rolls Royce Silver Cloud, so she owes him a favour. We might even be able to get father’s marriage declared null and void, in which case all his property would revert to me. The poison dwarf and her brood would be out on the street where they belong.

 ***   ***   ***

Today had the bailiffs evict the poison dwarf and the gruesome twosome. I went along to watch all the fun. You’d never heard so much shouting and carrying on. People like that simply have no dignity. All the neighbours came out to see what was happening. Poor Hortense got wedged in a doorway and had to be levered out with a crowbar. The poison dwarf got down on her knees and begged me to reconsider for my father’s sake, but I gave her the finger. Mr Prince said they were lucky not to end up in gaol after the way they’d abused me, but unfortunately we couldn’t go to court as it was just my word against theirs. They owe a fortune in legal fees and Mr Prince got them fired from their jobs, so they’re left with nothing.

 ***   ***   ***

Gerald is a much better lover than his son. I guess it’s true what they say about older men having more experience. On a scale of one to ten I’d give him a nine. Today he asked me if we could still go on seeing each other after I get married and I said I didn’t see why not, as long as we were discreet. Danny must never find out about us. He wouldn’t understand. It would break his heart, and he’s so sweet, even if he can be a klutz at times. I really do love him, sort of.

 ***   ***   ***

Home after the most marvellous honeymoon in the Bahamas, and wouldn’t you just know it would be raining. Driving back through the town I looked out of the car window and who should I see but the poison dwarf and the gruesome twosome, standing on a street corner and asking for handouts like common beggars. Their clothes were rags and their hair looked a fright, so no change there then. I almost felt sorry for them, but then I realised that they all looked so much slimmer, so obviously that lifestyle is agreeing with them. All’s well that ends well, as mother used to say.

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2 Responses to Extracts From A Teenage Diary Part 12

  1. I really enjoyed this Pete, and liked the style you chose to tell it. I’m assuming from your comments that it was originally meant to be published as a single piece, but it works quite well as a serialization. Did you have to change the text at all to accommodate the episodic presentation?

  2. petertennant says:

    Cheers Rob, and yeah, the original was meant to be published in its entirety, but the diary format meant all I had to do for serialisation was decide where to make the breaks (and with hindsight, really glad I didn’t ‘date’ those diary entries). The story was originally conceived as Cinderella meets “Clueless”.

    On another note, I sent you an email on Friday about the interview:-


    Just received a notification that message sending failed, though no idea why as I’ve had no problems mailing you in the past.

    Anyway, going to send it again from a different email account.

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