Thoughts Fast Approaching Christmas

ITEM: What Christmas means to me?

It’s that time of the year when I have far more to do than usual and a lot less time to do it in.

So, apologies to all the people who are waiting to hear from me. It will happen, just not yet.

ITEM: There was a time when, if I didn’t get a Christmas card from somebody who usually sent me one, I’d wonder if they were ill, or if we’d fallen out and I was the last to know.

Nowadays all it means to me is that I don’t have to spend money on sending them one next year.

ITEM: So, buying the girlfriend (as distinct from The Imaginary Girlfriend) the DVD of Puppetry of the Penis as a stocking filler, good idea or not?

I’m pretty sure she’ll laugh like a drain, but at the same time slightly worried that she might expect me to entertain her with some ‘dick tricks’, and that is soooooooo not going to happen.

ITEM: No carol singers round this year, so I needn’t have spent Sunday afternoon and evening with the curtains drawn and the lights off in the hope they’d think the house was empty.

I think what I’d like to see is a combination of carol singers with a zombie walk. Their rendition of “Now Give Me Some Figgie Pudding” might make the mind boggle.

ITEM: For the next twelve days I am serialising a previously unpublished short story of mine on this blog.

It’s called “Extracts From A Teenage Diary” and has been accepted for publication by several magazines, all of which folded before they could actually get my masterpiece into print.

I figure posting it here is the safest option, though if the internet goes down before Twelfth Night you’ll know who to blame.

ITEM: Right, I’m almost done.

A few emails to answer and then turn off the computer, read a book and do some housework. In the evening I’ll settle down with a family size bag of crisps and a bottle of beer, to watch Hidalgo and Aphrodite: Les Folies. I also have cherries in chocolate liqueurs. Life is good.

I’ll be spending the next few days with friends and families, and only going online intermittently.

Season’s greetings and best wishes to all the readers of this blog, whether subscribers or occasional visitors.

Be happy and be kind to each other.

I shall return in the New Year.