ITEM: Thoughts on a Sunday, for the first time ever? How cool is that?
ITEM: I was in Norwich yesterday, and I don’t believe I’ve ever known the city to be so crowded. At least twice I had to queue to use the Gents, which is unprecedented, and in the evening the station was so choked with passengers waiting for buses that they were overflowing from the central islands into the driveways.
Nice touch in Primark, where the queue to pay had got so long that they had a member of staff with a flag standing there to mark the end of it, and he was holding out a tin of Roses from which the customers could help themselves.
I wonder how that system might have worked with regard to the queue for the Gents.
ITEM: People are supposed to be able to avoid all this hassle by shopping online, but I’m not convinced. Ever since last night I’ve been trying to buy something via play.com and every time I get to the ‘Confirm Order’ phase it freezes. Today I notified their customer service people, to be told that they’d get back to me within twenty four hours, quickly followed by an automated email pointing out that I hadn’t yet completed my order.
Yes, I know that. I want to shop with you, but you won’t let me.
ITEM: Black Friday is a custom that seems to be spreading from the US to dear old Blighty.
Well, I really don’t mind very much about that, and in fact am taking a secretive delight at the prospect of mindless consumer drones engaging in gladiatorial combat to stagger out of the nearest mall with their arms full of bargains.
I do however believe that pain should be linked with gain, and that if we are to suffer Black Friday we should also be gifted a national holiday along the lines of Thanksgiving.
ITEM: I have in the past railed against modern packaging, and how most of it appears to have been produced by failed Krypton Factor game designers or people who think delayed gratification is somehow virtuous.
Today’s cut finger brought this home to me with a vengeance. I could quite easily have bled to death before I’d got the plaster out of its wrapping.
ITEM: Things not to say to The Imaginary Girlfriend – ‘No, I haven’t read the two sequels to Fifty Shades of Grey.’
Her response – ‘That’s Christmas sorted then’ – chilled me to the bone.
ITEM: A couple of years back, one of my local multiplexes started to put advisory content warnings on their film listings.
I could see the point of something like ‘Contains scenes of extreme violence and gore’, though I would hope an 18 certificate and reviews of the film would make stuff like this clear to potential viewers.
Recently though they seem to have got to the crossing every t and dotting every i phase with tag lines like ‘Contains scenes of emotional upset.’
In the 2010s even Lassie will come with an emotional health warning.
I’m also wondering how this kind of thing could be made to work for books and stories.
ITEM: One sentence story:-
R – S – B – D
The maid threw the week old paper back in the wastebasket, inexplicably saddened by the fact that poor Mr Kane had died without completing the crossword.