ITEM: So, if a friend sends me two birthday cards and posts them separately is this because:-
a) she took pity on someone who has few friends and receives sod all cards, as she maintains
b) she sent one and then forgot, and so sent another, as I maintain
ITEM: While watching Ken Russell’s adaptation of Lady Chatterley’s Lover on Sunday I was reminded of my favourite chat up line ever:-
You’re Tory, I’m working class. When are you going to screw me?
Of course, if you’re going to use this line then you should be completely sure that the person you use it on is somebody you’re not really interested in.
I used it on The Imaginary Girlfriend, back in a moment of youthful folly, and possibly that was when everything went wrong.
ITEM: On Facebook somebody hoped that all my fantasies had come true on my birthday.
I tuned into the news and found that the ConDems were still in power.
So that would be no then.
ITEM: Recent revelations about the surveillance activities of various intelligence agencies have reminded me of the time when I was in a relationship with a woman who insisted that somebody was listening in to our telephone conversations.
In the event that the NSA is monitoring this blog, I should clarify that her occasional references to my ‘stick of dynamite’ had nothing at all to do with planned terrorist atrocities.
ITEM: I occasionally remark that if people want to make sure their book is reviewed in Black Static then they should send me chocolates, cherry brandy liqueurs in particular, and of course I’m joking. I’d be mortified if anybody took me at my word and actually did that.
When deciding who gets reviewed and who doesn’t, the hardest part of my Black Static gig, I am guilty of thinking that those who send me expensive limited edition books or mail me ‘hard copies’ from foreign climes, deserve more consideration than those who simply attach a PDF to an email and blind copy in every reviewer in their address book.
Of course I try to guard against this predisposition, particularly as it’s biased to the big publishers who can afford to send out physical ARCs more easily than the little guys, and yet…
In this sense at least could it be argued that I’m susceptible to bribery?
If so, please keep the backhanders coming.
ITEM: The new Yahoo email continues to annoy me. Shortly after I posted about how much I hated the ‘improvements’ and found them unmanageable they gave us the option to opt out of the grouping of emails which I immediately did (this proves, as I’ve always maintained, that this blog is read by some pretty impotent people).
Then yesterday, every time I composed an email, a box would pop up at thirty second intervals asking if I wanted to save it to draft or continue writing. Today, thankfully, they’ve stopped this nonsense, but it’s got to the point where I’m almost scared to log into my account and find out what new hogwash they’ve come up with in their zeal to take a nice technological toy and use it to deliver a nasty, customer unfriendly experience.