Friday Night: Short and Sweet #4

ITEM: Okay, so it may not be Friday night just yet, but is it my fault that you’re reading this at work instead of waiting until you get home and doing so in your own time?

ITEM: The spam filters at WordPress are rather good and catch all sorts of junk, but every so often I take time out from my busy social schedule and check what the spammers are saying, as it sometimes turns out to be quite interesting (the term ‘interesting’ is relative).

I was impressed by a recent post, where the spammer led into his crappy drug link with the opening line ‘Hey, you used to write wonderful, but the last few posts have been kinda boring’.

Oh, spammers who use reverse psychology! I was tempted to allow it through, but then decided maybe not. (I couldn’t risk it, as I’d have been mortified if you guys didn’t charge in to defend me from the accusation that I’ve become boring.)

Spammers, if you’re reading this, you could always try flattery. If you use a female handle and post something like ‘If you want to be handsome, well endowed and a great lover who’ll  give women multiple orgasms every time, just like the guy who writes this blog, then go to *insert relevant link here*’.

With my huge need for validation from women, I’d probably let that one go 🙂

ITEM: Everyone I know is either indifferent or opposed to the Olympics. I think we all need to wear t-shirts that say I AM SPORTICUS!

ITEM: I’m often busy, and don’t reply to texts straight away. Contrarily, if people don’t get back to me within half an hour I assume they’re either dead or in hospital with a life threatening illness.

Double standards for the win.

ITEM: This week I read a news headline that David Cameron was going to Afghanistan to improve troop morale.

Yeah, that’s gonna work.

ITEM: Also in the news, a report about a guy who squirted brown sauce in his girlfriend’s face because she wouldn’t stop reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which he considered pornographic.

I kid you not.

Now if it had been chocolate sauce, and somewhere other than in the face…

ITEM: In a similar vein, it’s not been a good week for women on the internet – over at her blog Genevieve Valentine reports on being harassed by a dick head at Readercon while comedienne Sarah Silverman’s Scissor Sheldon video provoked a backlash from the Moral Moronity that involved accusing her of prostitution, questions about personal hygiene and rednecks with small dicks (I’m assuming) queueing up to let the world know that they wouldn’t touch her with a bargepole.

Lighten up, dudes! It’s a joke!

Bertrand Russell once opined that the thing with nice people is they have such nasty minds, and I can’t add much to that other than to observe that ‘conservatives’ who espouse respect for the so called gentler sex and place them on a pedestal often seem to be the first to take a big fat dump on those who reject or in some way fall short of the ‘little woman’ stereotype. 

ITEM: Apparently we should get some decent weather next week, the Gulf Stream having finally decided to shift itself up north where it’s supposed to be this time of the year.

Just in time too, as the possibility of continuous, unending rain appears to have permeated my psyche, like the spectre of an early J. G. Ballard novel. Earlier this week I dreamed that my lawn was flooded, and I was relieved when I got up in the morning and flung open the curtains to find that this was not the case.

Keep safe, and stay dry.