A Weekend Away – Snapshots

The Lowestoft Seafront Air Festival – It was supposed to take place in August, but this year they rescheduled it for the weekend of 23/24 June to avoid the Olympics, and so instead of glorious sunshine we had weather that was lukewarm at best, giving me yet another reason to feel pissed about sport. Flights cancelled due to inclemental conditions and lots of people wandering around in cagoules. I liked some of the planes, especially the ones that went really, really fast and made a lot of noise, and I had a very nice kebab for my lunch, but on balance it was all a lot of fuss over nothing much and I left early to avoid the crowds. The best year was the one when the Harrier crashed into the sea, as per the video in my previous post.

In Flight Entertainment – The day was definitely not one for the beach, and only a few people were braving the sea, but then on the bus back to Norwich two young ladies got on wearing bikinis. One had a t-shirt on over the top of hers and the other was wearing an open cardigan, which at one point she removed and stood there in nothing but the bikini while her mate took pictures with her mobile. She was also suggestively sucking on a rock dummy, and the two of them kept gyrating like thwarted pole dancers. It was a bizarre experience, and the rest of us passenger kept looking round for the concealed camera that was surely recording our reactions. At one point we were alongside another bus and the driver couldn’t take his eyes off the girls, not quite believing what he was seeing, the sort of reaction you only usually get in bad sitcoms.

An Evening of Burlesque – At the Theatre Royal in Norwich, and as I’d never been to a burlesque show before I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was surprised to find that just about everyone dressed up, and I was one of the few people in jeans and t-shirt. Also surprised that there seemed to be more women than men in the audience – mostly it was couples or parties of women, some of whom had got into the spirit of the thing and togged themselves up in corsets, fishnet etc. The show itself was all good, clean fun and in the best possible taste. My favourite acts were the high energy hula girl (just watching her made me feel knackered) and the male juggler come comedian, who was absolutely hilarious. In fact it was a lot more about humour than striptease, or is it just that in my twilight years I have grown indifferent to the siren song of women removing their clothes? Ho hum!

Dead Girl – I found a copy of this DVD in Yarmouth Poundland, and the guy who served me sniggered and said, ‘That’s my girlfriend!’. When I didn’t respond he repeated the ‘joke’, pointing at the cover of the DVD to make sure I understood. I probably should have asked him if his girlfriend was a corpse what did that make him. I also found a DVD starring Lucy Liu, but I’m not sure if bondage is involved or not. I’ll let you know when I’ve watched it.

Great Yarmouth – Chips off the market, drenched in curry sauce. Only one stall was open, and doing a roaring trade. Down Regent St, and then off through the Venetian Gardens and round the Boating Lake, down to the seashore opposite the wind farm. It occurred to me that with their yellow bases and white bodies the windmills resembled the yellow beaked gulls that kept hovering overhead with a predatory eye.

Beach Life – By now the sun had come out and it looked like being a glorious day, despite the wet morning. I walked back along the shore, going right down to the Pleasure Beach, bemused to find the sand littered with clear, lozenge shaped objects – at first I thought they were bits of glass, but when I prodded one it felt pulpy rather than solid, so… Jelly fish shit maybe, or some weird alien infestation which will spell the eventual end of mankind. Off in the distance I caught a glimpse of the second day of the Lowestoft Seafront Air Festival, with the Red Arrows doing their thing and leaving coloured smoke trails in their wake.

The Jetty – I was shocked to find that The Jetty between the Britannia and Wellington Piers had been demolished. On the plus side, you can now walk for miles along the beach without having to divert up onto the promenade, but all the same I shall miss The Jetty. Back when buses set down on the seafront the end of The Jetty was always the first place I would go on arrival in Yarmouth. I remember one time wandering along it early on a mist beset morning and nearly having a heart attack after stumbling on a tramp who’d spent the night on a bench at its end.

Deserted – I’d planned to spend the evening in Yarmouth, but the front was nearly deserted by 18.00 and just about everywhere was either closed up or in the process of becoming so. Apparently there was a football match on.

Television – Years ago any self-respecting hotel chain would kit out its rooms with a Gideon Bible or paying guests would leave porn mags behind for those who came after (pun intended), but sadly those traditions appear to have died out. I expected after nearly eighteen months without a television I would enjoy the novelty of watching the one in my room, but fifteen minutes flicking channels convinced me that I made the right decision in letting it go. Eventually, out of sheer frustration, I ended up catching the fag end of the England vs Italy match. I’m afraid I will never understand football. Nearly a week later I’m still trying to figure out why Pirlo’s penalty had Alan Shearer and his fellow pundits in such orgasmic rapture. He kicked the ball and it went in the net. Isn’t that what’s supposed to happen?

Naked in Norwich 3 – An art exhibition at St Margaret’s Church. I like paintings and drawings of people with no clothes on, I really, really do, but all the same there is something overwhelming about seeing hundreds of nude studies on the walls of a gallery. You lose sight of the trees for the forest.

Prometheus – Very much a film where the ‘look’ and the feelings of awe that it engenders are more important than plot, acting etc. I enjoyed it rather more than not, and might write some more about why that was at a later time, but this post has already crossed the 1,000 word mark and I fancy a coffee, so that is your lot for today.

Last weekend was quite fun. This weekend I went shopping at Iceland. Swings and roundabouts, baby. Swings and roundabouts.

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2 Responses to A Weekend Away – Snapshots

  1. As I remember it, Pete, The Dead Girl was definitely worth seeing. It’s one of a group of low budgets from the past few years that may not be perfect, but show some real promise: yellowbrickroad, Dead Mary, Deadgirl, Take Shelter, and The Woman (by Lucky McGee, who also did May a few years back.)

    That kebab sounds kebabulous! Mary and I love going to the different Greek church festivals, rows of skewered souvlaki on the grills, smoke rising. Goes down perfect with a glass of retsina.

    I had to Google “rock dummy” since I had never heard the expression before. A British candy site helpfully informed me they are “Available in two sizes: Standard and Jumbo Supa Sucka.” Comment, as they say, would be superfluous.

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