Friday Night: Short and Sweet #3

ITEM: I’m sure you’ll all be mightily relieved to know that the healing thoughts you have been beaming in my direction have proved effective, and that this morning the nurse lady officially pronounced my abscess healed. Yay!

I was somewhat taken aback though by her comment that I needed to rub cream on the spot. I mean, do I look like the sort of person who uses moisturiser?

Seriously. Do I?

ITEM: The trickle of people who come to this blog after searching ‘lucy liu bondage’ or some variation thereof has dried up. It appears that darling Lucy is soooooo yesterday.

Instead people are now turning up here by means of a search on ‘peter tennant’. I feel slightly threatened, as if I’m being checked out in connection with some crime I have no recollection of committing.

ITEM: One of my favourite quotes comes from the sleeve of a Pete Townsend album. He thanked the Brothers Armagnac for saving his life by ‘making the stuff so bloody expensive’.

And one of my favourite song lines comes from The Who song Behind Blue Eyes – ‘Nobody knows what it’s like to be the bad man’.

In my mind I refer to it as ‘the reviewer’s lament’.

Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself. And yes, I do not need to just GTF over it.

ITEM: Earlier this week I saw a job advert for AN ENTHUSIASTIC PERSON. I thought to myself, I can do that, I can be an enthusiastic person, and then I discovered the job was in Weston-Super-Mare and all my enthusiasm just melted away like summer snow.

More seriously, perhaps firms should start to recruit people just to be enthusiastic and cheer up the rest of us miserable sods, sort of like the reality TV generation’s equivalent of the motley fools of yesteryear.

At least that way we could keep them out of Parliament.

ITEM: Murdoch and News International vs The Tories – isn’t it just fabulous when two parties for whom you have absolutely nothing but contempt get into a fight.

It doesn’t matter a jot who wins or who loses, just as long as they both get badly hurt.

ITEM: I am part of a special jury, charged with the possibly onerous task of deciding the PS Publishing Independent Press Award.

For years I’ve considered myself special, and now others do as well. Recognition at last.

ITEM: Pete’s first rule of the internet – don’t get into protracted arguments on message boards with people who have way more time to waste on this sort of shit than you do.

Other rules of the internet? Anyone?

ITEM: Intellectually I know it’s completely unfair, but all the same today I felt really pissed off when the person I’ve been ignoring for ages decided to ignore me.


ITEM: Right, I need to go and wash my hair now, then apply some moisturiser.

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12 Responses to Friday Night: Short and Sweet #3

  1. What? There are message board rows going on and I’m not involved?! Great to see your name on the jury – and glad you’re better.

    • petertennant says:

      So what makes you think it’s not a row involving you that I’m referring to?

      And thanks for the kind wishes.

      • Oh gosh, hope not… Anyway, I did think of a few rules.

        1. Don’t get into the same argument twice. I once spent three days arguing with someone over whether Doctor Who could regenerate into a black actor. Never again!

        2. You don’t have to respond to every post you disagree with.

        3. Don’t post just because someone is badgering you to leave the computer and have your dinner / do the dishes / read a bedtime story. There’s no deadline on posting.

        4. If you’re using a smiley just so that you won’t sound like a jerk, you sound like a jerk and should rewrite it instead of using a smiley.

      • petertennant says:

        Those are good rules to surf by kemosabe, and our life online will be vastly improved if only we can learn to adhere to them. You first 😉

  2. I have to reaffirm your rule, Pete, about not getting into rows with anyone on the message boards. The director Kevin Smith said once that he was getting into a heated back and forth on a board with someone, the exchange was getting ugly, then he finally realized he was making nastier and still nastier insults to a twelve year old girl.

    The Internet forums can be an awful drug. And as you said, the winner is almost always someone who can post rebuttals for hours, usually some latchkey kid typing on his mom’s computer, while your own work piles up. That damn anonymity.

    Pete Townsend’s quote reminds me of Robin Williams: Cocaine is nature’s way of telling you that you don’t make enough money.

    Since ‘Lucy Liu bondage’ is winding down and ‘Peter Tennant’ is getting popular, have you considered going after the ‘Peter Tennant bondage’ market?

    Glad you’re feeling better. We’re of an age where our bodies start betraying us.

    • petertennant says:

      Hi Rob, and yeah not knowing who you’re really talking to on the internet can be a serious handicap, though I quite like the idea of convincing someone who is disagreeing with me that they’re being nasty to a twelve year old and will ‘file’ the trick away for later.

      Erm, I think the Williams’ quote is ‘Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you’re making too much money’ (and when I say ‘I think’ I mean I just did a google search).

      I also did a google search on ‘peter tennant bondage’ and yep, Trumpetville is the second result right after some Peter Tennant dude at Newcastle University, who is obviously having a more interesting life than me, the bastard. It’s a discovery I’m having a hard time processing, so curse you for putting the idea in my head, and I definitely need to rethink my blogging strategy before all this bondage stuff brings the Bullingdon Boys and other public schoolboy detritus down on my head 🙂

  3. categardner says:

    Congrats on being picked for the jury. I’m sure you’ll do a tremendous job.

  4. Glad you’re better, Peter. I, too, yesterday, got a medical all-clear for the thing on my neck. But if it flares up again I’ll probably need it gouging out – or exorcism? Smiley.

    • petertennant says:

      Good to hear Des, apart from the possible gouging. It appears we are bio-synchronous, twins separated at birth perhaps, though if so one of us is misinformed as to their age, and I sincerely hope it’s you as I don’t fancy losing a few years 😉

      • Pete, perhaps we should compare other features of our bodies to prove or disprove this (wonderful word of yours) bio-synchronicity. As to the years, I fear there is no turning back for me along their path, so you are quite safe in the unchanging implasticity of time’s differential.

      • petertennant says:

        Oh, I haven’t had a strange man online ask me to compare body parts for ages, and I don’t think the restraining order has been rescinded re the last one 😉

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