Hello Hooray…

…I’m ready.

Let the show begin!

Well, actually we’ll begin furreal tomorrow, as I’m knackered. I’ve spent the day looking for a Valentine card for The Imaginary Girlfriend, and became so paralysed with fear of making the wrong choice that I seem to have returned home with four different cards, but all of them in their individual ways carrying a heartfelt but somewhat needy plea for the recipient to sleep with the sender.

Erm…

So anyone out there want me to send them a slightly rude Valentine card?

That offer is open only to the girls. I’ve no objection in principle to sending cards to guys, but my puckish sense of humour doesn’t really fit into a guy on guy scenario.

About a dozen years ago a friend sent me a birthday card fully laden with love and kisses, only she’d lost my address and so looked it up in the phonebook, which is why the card ended up with a Peter Tennant in the next village over, whose girlfriend was not amused. Poor guy phoned me up and got me to explain to his lady .

Anyway, here’s Alice:-

 

I used to love Alice Cooper, and I guess I still do, though there are times when I have problems with the whole playing golf thing.

One Halloween I may have traumatised some local trick or treaters by opening the door while “I Love the Dead” was on the stereo.

At least I think that was what made them go so pale.

That’s all folks!

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5 Responses to Hello Hooray…

  1. When my mother was a bank teller in Greenwich, Connecticut in the 1980’s, she used to wait on Alice Cooper all the time. She knew about his stage persona, but said in real life he was “a nice man. Very polite.” In answer to my obvious first question, she said that No, he didn’t wear any make-up when he’d visit the bank, and his clothes were “regular clothes.” Although I didn’t ask, I’m assuming he also didn’t bite the heads off any chickens while waiting in line. (Was that one of his bits, or am I thinking of someone else?) Anyway, good luck with the IG! 🙂

  2. dc5 says:

    Cooper claims he didn’t do the biting. Apparently, Cooper threw the live chicken into a front row filled with wheelchair-bound fans, at least one of whom tore the bird to pieces. All a bit gross, though not without some comedic interest.

    • petertennant says:

      If I recall correctly Cooper was a reverend’s son, with real name Vince (Furnell?), and I’m not really surprised he was polite in ‘real life’. I hadn’t heard about the chicken biting, though knew he was fond of snakes (and probably not good to bite those).

      It amuses me how the rock rebels of yesteryear always seem to end up as the grand old men of today (e.g. Cooper and Ozzy Osbourne).

  3. Ray Cluley says:

    Send all four cards, using different handwriting, and take credit for the one that receives the best reaction… 🙂

    (If you’re going to do that, then perhaps delete this reply)

    • petertennant says:

      Oh Ray, your idea that TIG might read this blog, or has any interest in me at all is quite touching 😦

      If I thought that was a possibility then I’d have to delete about half the posts.

      And it won’t matter how many cards I send her. The best one she receives will be from Richard ‘ruddy’ Gere, who is her Imaginary Boyfriend.

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