ITEM: Well, I am still without a computer, and it’s the fault of Mr Sainsbury, who posted on his website a brand new shiny computer which evoked an ‘I want that’ response, but being a cautious type I decided to sleep on it and when I woke up the ruddy thing was out of stock. I’ve been patiently waiting for three weeks for them to restock, and now the buggers have admitted that they’re not going to. Obviously they must think it’s amusing to lead a fellow on with promises of new technology that they don’t then supply. Back to the drawing board for a new computer. Sigh!
And meanwhile I am still operating out of the library. Depending on which branch I’m in I can log into my account (and hopefully post – this is a trial blog post), but not actually read it because of all the ‘bad words’ people are using which give Norton security palpitations. Annoyingly I can still read everyone else’s blog (Stephen Theaker’s, Cate Gardner’s etc), just not my own. It seems I am the only foul mouthed blogger on the internet. It hurts to be so singled out, indeed it does.
ITEM: Usually I look forward to Halloween, but last year I had shingles and the year before I had swine flu, so this year I’ll probably go into a coma.
ITEM: I rang The Imaginary Girlfriend, and she threw a paddy because Strictly Come Dancing was on, and she doesn’t like having her viewing interrupted. She promised to ring me back when Strictly was over. That was at least three weeks ago. Silly me. I assumed she meant the episode, not the series.
ITEM: I watched a DVD of a Corrs concert the other night. It was almost as if the Halliwell sisters had opted to form a band instead of fighting evil with the power of three.
No disrespect to Andrea, but you know, I really thought the audience got behind the instrumental numbers a lot more than they did the ones where she sang.
Final thought re the Corrs, during the encore violinist Sharon wore a strappy dress that was continually sliding off her shoulder as she fiddled, and this man kept dashing on stage and pulling it back into place. Nice to think that ‘rock’ bands have their own Wardrobe Malfunction Technicians.
ITEM: I don’t read newspapers – I’m more or less with Henry Miller, who opined that if there was a war or revolution somebody would tell him, and the rest simply didn’t matter – but I do occasionally glance at the headlines if I’m in a shop that sells them, and so delighted to see that, in their front page reportage on the demise of Gaddafi, The Express stated the dictator got ‘his just deserts’.
Yes, I sniggered like a banker dreaming up schemes to screw another widow out of her mite.
On the subject of Gaddafi, have to admit that I was disappointed the rebels shot the guy before the results of the viewers’ phone-in vote was announced. Simon was livid, allegedly.
ITEM: I was watching a black and white western at the weekend, and as part of the ‘deluxe’ train package a steward brought James Stewart a spittoon for his personal use. It’s hard to think that there was once a time when ‘gobbing’ in public was not only acceptable but encouraged, albeit when I walk round town I sometimes feel that there’s a market for portable spittoons among the hoodie generation.
And I refuse to believe that Jimmy Stewart – that thoroughly decent chap out of It’s a Wonderful Life – ever spat. It’s a concept as hard to accept as the idea of the Queen visiting the loo.
ITEM: Now then, I wonder if this blog will post (and, if you’re reading it, then obvioulsy it did), or if I’ll be able to preview it without those Norton busybodies shutting me down.
Item one will now be used as an excuse when I go on an impulse purchase spree. I hope the imaginary girlfriend has now phoned you or at least buys you a really good pair of socks for Christmas by way of apology.