Yes, you lucky people, you get two posts today, because I’m in a good mood and there’s a certain symmetry behind it all that appeals to me.
ITEM: Friends and family don’t understand me. Taking pity on me, because I no longer watch television, my sister kindly offered to have me down hers to watch yesterday’s royal wedding. She started laughing when she saw the look on my face though.
ITEM: The sad sacks at The Daily Mule have got ahold of the Judy Mays/Buranich story I linked to earlier this week, and in true DM style they’ve pitched it in favour of the bigots who are ‘speaking out’ and have suffered the torment of having nasty comments posted to their Facebook page for doing the right thing, poor dears, and with no apparent awareness of the irony of printing such puritannical drivel on their website alongside pictures of the barely legal Miley Cyrus in revealing outfits. As Bertrand Russell once observed, the thing with nice people is that they have such nasty minds.
ITEM: Staying with The Daily Mule, I was reading the introduction to the new Oxford Classics edition of Dracula, which observed that racial tensions of the time added to the book’s relevance, and to illustrate the point they quoted The Daily Mule in 1911 referring to Jewish immigrants as ‘the scum of Europe’ and presaging ‘the moral and spiritual death of our race’. A hundred years later and little has changed, other than the targets in the hatemonger’s sights.
ITEM: Staying with the Judy Mays story, when digging up examples of similar intolerance, I missed the most obvious one. Years back, a woman writer I used to be friendly with, was ‘outed’ by The News of the World. Her crime was that she wrote for children under one pseudonym and BDSM erotica under another. From memory, they opened the piece with a quote from one of her children’s books in which the little ones were splashing about in mud, then went on, snigger, snigger, to reveal what sort of mucky goings on Dirty D— wrote about elsewhere, with the subtext of course that this woman wasn’t fit to write for children.
So, is the phrase ‘journalistic integrity’ an oxymoron nowadays, or just a sick joke?
ITEM: What do you get if you cross a horror film with a celebrity sex tape?
An American Werewolf in Paris Hilton.
That seemed so much funnier when I first thought it up.
ITEM: Every other time I turn my computer off recently, I get the message ‘Windows has important updates to instal’, begging the question do they ever have updates that aren’t important, are only so so? Apparently not.
In a similar vein, so much of the junk mail I receive has ‘Important Information Enclosed’ on the outside of the envelope, but inside there’s just the usual guff about things they want me to buy.
Does nobody understand the meaning of the word ‘important’ any more?
ITEM: Wonderful typo on Facebook – ‘Karam’s a bitch’. She certainly is, but her brothers Efat and Kistem are even worse.