…and I’m too tired to write a proper blog post, so I’m going to copy and paste a crappy piece of vampire fiction instead.
THE SECRET OF HER SUCCESS
“You’ll be the first one to portray us accurately,” said the first vampire. “We can provide you with all the information you need to make your books accurate.”
“And we’ll help you get published,” said the second vampire. “We have all sorts of connections.”
“The books will be as big as Harry Potter,” said the first vampire.
“But why?” asked the writer. “What’s in it for you?”
“We’re tired of hiding in the shadows,” said the first vampire. “We want to be accepted into mainstream society. But at the moment vampires get such a bad press, thanks to the lies spread about us by Stoker and people like that Rice woman. We want to set the record straight.”
“You’ll sell millions,” said the second vampire, and his eyes glowed with avarice.
“All right,” said the writer. “I’ll do it.”
* * *
“The cattle are so gullible,” said the first vampire as they walked away from the hotel.
“She really thinks we want to be accepted by them,” said the second. “It was so hard, not to tear open her throat and drain her there and then.”
“The woman has her uses,” said his companion. “Imagine a world in which the cattle are in love with us, where they seek us out willingly.”
The second vampire laughed. “It will be the dawning of a new age.”