ITEM: I’m sure you’ll all be mightily relieved to know that the healing thoughts you have been beaming in my direction have proved effective, and that this morning the nurse lady officially pronounced my abscess healed. Yay!
I was somewhat taken aback though by her comment that I needed to rub cream on the spot. I mean, do I look like the sort of person who uses moisturiser?
Seriously. Do I?
ITEM: The trickle of people who come to this blog after searching ‘lucy liu bondage’ or some variation thereof has dried up. It appears that darling Lucy is soooooo yesterday.
Instead people are now turning up here by means of a search on ‘peter tennant’. I feel slightly threatened, as if I’m being checked out in connection with some crime I have no recollection of committing.
ITEM: One of my favourite quotes comes from the sleeve of a Pete Townsend album. He thanked the Brothers Armagnac for saving his life by ‘making the stuff so bloody expensive’.
And one of my favourite song lines comes from The Who song Behind Blue Eyes - ‘Nobody knows what it’s like to be the bad man’.
In my mind I refer to it as ‘the reviewer’s lament’.
Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself. And yes, I do not need to just GTF over it.
ITEM: Earlier this week I saw a job advert for AN ENTHUSIASTIC PERSON. I thought to myself, I can do that, I can be an enthusiastic person, and then I discovered the job was in Weston-Super-Mare and all my enthusiasm just melted away like summer snow.
More seriously, perhaps firms should start to recruit people just to be enthusiastic and cheer up the rest of us miserable sods, sort of like the reality TV generation’s equivalent of the motley fools of yesteryear.
At least that way we could keep them out of Parliament.
ITEM: Murdoch and News International vs The Tories – isn’t it just fabulous when two parties for whom you have absolutely nothing but contempt get into a fight.
It doesn’t matter a jot who wins or who loses, just as long as they both get badly hurt.
ITEM: I am part of a special jury, charged with the possibly onerous task of deciding the PS Publishing Independent Press Award.
For years I’ve considered myself special, and now others do as well. Recognition at last.
ITEM: Pete’s first rule of the internet – don’t get into protracted arguments on message boards with people who have way more time to waste on this sort of shit than you do.
Other rules of the internet? Anyone?
ITEM: Intellectually I know it’s completely unfair, but all the same today I felt really pissed off when the person I’ve been ignoring for ages decided to ignore me.
ITEM: Right, I need to go and wash my hair now, then apply some moisturiser.